Bad Driver’s License Contest



Why is it that the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) seems to catch everyone in the midst of a bad face day? Doug Johnson decided to do something about it!! Check out Doug’s bad face days at the DMV.

In between Doug’s third and fourth victorious trips to the California DMV he decided to host the world’s first International Bad Driver’s License Contest. As fairness and equity are of tantamount importance to Doug, he immediately declared himself the Honorary Judge and excluded himself from the competition. The contest will be held on his Doug the Drummer website as well as his Facebook Musician/Band Photos Page –

Official Rules

  1. Your bad driver’s license (BDL) to be considered must have been issued by a government-sponsored driver’s licensing agency.
  2. Your BDL must be submitted to as a jpeg file with the issuing government agency showing, and any of your personal information, including driver’s license number, blocked out.
  3. The BDL must be accompanied by a good picture of yourself that adequately represents what you look like and will effectively contrast your BDL.
  4. A statement granting Doug Johnson permission to post both pictures on his Doug the Drummer website as well as his Facebook Musician/Band Photos Page must be granted by the contestant pictured in the BDL and accompanying photograph.
  5. A declaration of what name or alias is to accompany the photos must also be included.
  6. Most prizes are experiential in nature, such as but not limited to: a heightened sense of confidence, invincibility and accomplishment; a newer, deeper, more forgiving, more sympathetic and more united relationship with your own dark side: an enhanced sense of empathy for those people who seem to be enslaved to the constant expression of their dark sides; a bewildering and rare sense of enjoyment while at the DMV. There is, however, one material prize: Your Bad Driver’s License itself! As a conversation piece, it will exude attributes of a Divining Rod, stimulating great conversation with fun, humorous people who are comfortable with their own humanity, while quickly ending conversations with stiff, shallow, even dangerous people who are in a constant state of hiding their shadow from themselves and from others. It also serves as a great head start for getting out of any moving violations!
  7. All viewer’s comments will be posted if deemed acceptable by the Honorable Doug Johnson.
  8. Criteria for the winner will be number of viewer “Likes” on both webpages (see note below) and overall effect the contestants have on the Honorable Doug Johnson AND his court. After careful deliberations, the Judge and his court have ruled that a contestant “Like”-ing their own submission is permissable.

NOTE: While submissions will be posted on both of the webpages mentioned above soon after receipt, the postings on THIS page ( will not be”Like”-able until an adequate contestant pool has been assembled. At this time, the judging will begin and those poor souls who can only long to fill their repressive lives with such adventures will be able to cast their “Like” for their favorite contestants for a period of time not yet determined.

For example, send in a nice picture along with your BDL so we can contrast the two and marvel at the transformation you were able to materialize from the depths of your soul.

bdl contest nice vehicle_salesperson_wide_irfan

Here are some hot tips to ensure that your trip to the DMV will be one of great victory – one that will make your parents and community forever proud, that you will one day share with your grandchildren as they sit on your knee:

  • Practice your face and corresponding persona ahead of time. The more psycho your persona the better your picture will be, but make sure not to give the DMV any reason to believe you are not fit to drive!
  • Put this face and persona “on” before you drive into the DMV parking lot and do not take them “off” until you have exited the parking lot.
  • It is crucial that the DMV employees are 100% convinced that you really are who you are looking and acting like, so commit to your character with all of your inner-psychodom!
  • Have an alibi as to why your face has changed so much since your last trip to the DMV.
  • Don’t take any friends…Unless they are surreptitiously filming the whole incident which, by the way, would score major extra credit points!

Good luck and have fun. If you experience any moments that you believe to be noteworthy, please send them in along with your pictures.

Your chances of winning are approximately: (Desire x Focus) ÷ (Self Consciousness)

I’m the Honorable Doug Johnson and I approve this message

The First Contestant Is In!

Please Welcome Contestant #1…Amish Savant!  (click to view full size)

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